For want of a Snowday
by pretzel-logic
Summary: Pitch Black has been chosen to join the Guardians. ... Yeah, no one thinks this is a good idea but Jack Frost needs to be stopped. (role-reversal) Originally written for blackice week on tumblr.


author's note: So this was written... a while ago for blackice week, the prompt role-reversal. I _tried _to write it with a fear and fun instead of cold and dark but, uh, well, you'll see.

disclaimer: don't own. Dreamworks and William Joyce do.

* * *

Pitch thought he was done for, about to be punished for turning Sanderson's precious dreams into nightmares. Instead North was going on about him being made a Guardian and an over-the-top celebration was occurring throughout the workshop.

"Enough!" Pitch roared when the yetis got to close with their twirling staffs of fire.

"What the hell is wrong with you!? Has all that eggnog rotted out what's left of your brain? Why would I, of all spirits, be a Guardian?"

North chuckled uneasily. The fear was subtle but, Pitch could sense it. The Guardians feared Pitch was right, that this whole thing was a bad idea...

"We did not make decision, Pitch. Man in Moon did," North explained as the silence dragged on a bit too long.

"What?" Pitch said incredulously before turning to gaze up at the moon, lips twisting into a sneer. "Is my 'old friend' talking behind my back once more? How typical. Well, now I must doubly refuse. Good day." Pitch said simply stepping towards the closest shadow, eager to escape.

Tooth flew in front of him, startling him to a halt as she spoke rapidly, fear spiking. "Pitch! Wait! You don't understand! Jack Frost is back and-"

"And what? Threatening the children? How am I supposed to help with that? In case all of you have forgotten, I'm the 'boogeyman'. The spirit parents threaten children with, claiming I'll steal them away if they don't behave, eat their greens, and go to bed," Pitch pointed out, snarling.

With a horrified gasp, Tooth fluttered away from him. _His teeth_ her fear whispered to him.

"Hate to say it but the blighter's got a point. His believers don't last, not like any anklebiter looks forward to a visit from Pitch Black," Bunny said with casual smugness.

"Bunny!" North protested, obviously trying to play leader and salvage the meeting.

"Oh relax North, the Easter _Bilby_'s right. You lot are all hopes, wonders, happy memories, and dreams. So sweet its sickening. Where as me, I'm fear. I've been helping you 'Guardians' protect children for centuries. Only thing making it official will do is kill me," Pitch casually points out.

The four shift uneasily at the reminder their extra power comes with a price tag.

"Now, if that's all-"

"One child already hurt. In coma from sledding accident in town we found you in," North blurts out.

"Jack led him through _traffic_. We found out through a tooth the boy lost," Tooth explained, anguished.

**Man in Moon chose you to help us Pitch. Please.** Sandy finally added.

The Sandman was pleading for his help. Pitch hesitated. It was so hard to say no when his rival was depending on his help.

"Very well," Pitch reluctantly agreed. If only so he could gloat later.

(stupid formatting, break)

"How utterly terrifying."

"Pitch! Be serious! We need your help," Tooth chided as she and North tried to capture Bunny.

"I am being serious. When's the last time you've seen Bunny relax and have fun? It's positively horrifying!" Pitch insisted as Bunny laughed madly, running up a wall, and back-flipping off it.

The remaining sane Guardians fell silent, validating Pitch's point.

Honestly, between Tooth's palace frozen solid, her collection of teeth inaccessible, and North's workshop destroyed things were looking grim.

Now Frost managed to get Aster high off his snowflakes and trying to herd a pooka and his googies was harder than trying to herd cats!

The elves weren't helping.

"Honestly, if I knew giving elves too much sugar created such ungodly terrors I would have tried creating an army with them first," Pitch stated as one miscreant fell into the river of dye instead of his eggs.

"What do you mean?" North asked curiously, amused. "You have secret army somewhere?"

"No," Pitch lied quickly and nonchalantly. The Guardians didn't know about his Nightmares and he wasn't about to tell them with Sanderson about. He didn't feel like being flung about like a rag-doll, ta.

(another scene break)

Pitch just planned to make sure his nightmares were well-hidden and _safe_. A small detour from dropping off Bunny's tired playmate. Except as he flew towards the closest entrance to his lair Pitch spotted a familiar figure skating upon a lake.

Jack Frost seemed lost in his own world as he skated in a lazy figure eight.

"Shouldn't you be off icing roads and causing snowball fights somewhere?"

Watching Jack let out a surprised yelp and fall into an undignified heap on the ice was refreshing after the hellish Easter preparations.

"Pitch! Hi!" Jack greeted cheerfully as the wind carried him closer. "What's a place like you doing in a spirit out here? I mean-"

Pitch laughed, despite himself. "Are you trying to flirt with me Mr. Frost?"

"I don't know," Jack said light, twirling his staff and walking back towards his lake. Suddenly he looked over his shoulder, smirking smugly. "Is it working?"

Pitch chuckled and followed after the boy. "It shouldn't but it seems to be."

Jack's steps faltered as he looked up at Pitch shocked. "Huh? What? Really? I thought you were with the Guardians! Shouldn't you be attacking me and demanding I melt Tooth's palace and help fix North's workshop? Shove the boomerang back up Bunny's ass?"

Pitch waved a hand dismissively. "The Guardians are a little too caught up in their duties to realize they're the targets, not the children. Jamie Bennett was an accident, I take it?"

"Yeah..." Jack said softly, ducking his head. "Once I saw the lights this far South I knew I was in trouble. So I thought hey, might as well go for broke. I didn't mean to completely ice over Tooth's palace I just wanted to see if the Baby Tooth's would get stuck, like licking an icy flagpole. As for North's, uh, well-"

"Elves?" Pitch supplied amused.

"Elves," Jack agreed nodding vigorously.

Pitch hummed, crossing his arms behind his back at he thought over Jack's confession.

"Tell you what, I'll keep your secret if you'll keep mine," Pitch offered, holding out a hand for Jack.

Hesitantly, Jack grabbed Pitch's hand. "What secr-"

Pitch had the night's shadow swallow them and delivered him to his lair. Nightmares whinnied and snorted in greeting.

"-ret? Whoa. What did you do to Sandy's sand?"

"Turned dreams into Nightmares. I might not be as popular as the Guardians but I have a job to do and I can't be_everywhere_," Pitch explained, petting Onyx as she sidled up next to him and eyed Jack suspiciously.

Pitch did not blame the girl. Frost was too busy having _fun_ to feel fear. It was... nice. Not being able to tell what another was thinking by access to their fears.

Jack laughed delightedly and moved until he was face to face with a Nightmare. "Wow. WOW! I was wondering how I would prank Sandy but these guys are perfect!"

"Girls," Pitch corrected, frowning at Jack's suggestion. "Jack, I'm not sure-"

"Oh, come on Pitch! Imagine Sandy's face!" Jack insisted, chuckling.

Pitch considered it. Sanderson's expression would be enjoyable. Besides, the Man in the Moon was finally willing to recognize Pitch as a Guardian. What could the Sandman do? Huff and stomp his stubby legs?

"Alright," Pitch agreed and smiled at Jack's elated cheer. "But I'm claiming you ambushed me and drugged me like you did Bunny."

"Sure, I can do that," Jack agreed, one of his snowflakes already dancing along his knuckles.

"And afterwards you're going to explain the sledding accident _was_ an accident and everything else was pranks that spiraled out of control. Perhaps afterwards you'd like to catch a movie?" Pitch offered casually, suppressing his anxiety when Onyx started nipping at his shoulder.

"Deal! Wait- seriously?" Jack asked.

Pitch shrugged. "What can I say? You know how to have fun."

Jack grinned. "I'm sure the Guardians would agree I could use a little more fear."


End file.
